Ithaca Blog

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Dream Interview: Dick Cheney at Ithaca Blog

We feel bad that Dick Cheney didn't get a wider forum when he said that terrorists support the Democrats, and kill people to make Republicans look bad, so the terrorists' friends the Democrats will win mid-term elections.

Vice President Cheney got to say this only on Fox News, because other media people might ask questions, which would garble his message.

So we imagined giving Vice President Cheney a chance to go a little further here on Ithaca Blog. It might go like this:

Ithaca Blog: Vice President Cheney, what other bad things are people doing so the Democrats will win?

VP Cheney: Here in America, people are continuing to go without medical insurance. This makes the Republican administration and the Republican Congress look bad when people die, or go bankrupt. It plays right into Democrats' hands.

IB: What else?

Cheney: Global warming. If it were true. It would be portrayed as a failure of Republican policy or will. Rather than something which, if it existed, would be a gigantic natural hoax for Democratic gain.

IB: Any connection between the terrorists, the Democrats, and the shoddy play in the World Series?

Cheney: Well, obviously, the Yankees and the Mets had the best seasonal records and deserved to be in there. It would have made for a better World Series and a more satisfying one for more Americans. So, whether there was some kind of terrorist activity that prevented that from happening, we can't say. But certainly the terrorists will stop at nothing, and infiltration of the New York Yankees roster for terrorist and Democratic gain would not seem out of the question.

IB: Some of the major business stories this year are record disparities of wealth in America, record profits for ExxonMobil, record profits for corporations in general, and stagnant income for working people. Does this suggest terrorist infiltration among corporate executives?

Cheney: Next question.

IB: Does your creation of this kind of rhetoric play into the hands of the Democratic party, by offending clear-thinking people who simply wish to exercise their electoral privileges by voting for peace, economic equity, and honest government?

Cheney: Time to go.

Stephen Burke
for Ithaca Blog

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