Like many good Ithacans, we suffer through our share of painful, ponderous committee meetings of various organizations. Comprehension lessens suffering,`perhaps, so we offer this brief guide to the type of talk you will hear at meetings, with specific examples, so you can see it's not you, it's them.
When someone says "I'd like to front-load the process with action points that might require closure," you should start day-dreaming as vividly as possible, because you are in for a mind-numbing time.
When someone says they want to say something "real quick," that means it is going to take real long.
When someone says they want to "share" something, it means they want to say something that just popped into their heads that is of no relevance or interest.
When someone says "I respect Brian and his opinions tremendously," they are telling the truth, if you replace the word "respect" with the word "loathe."
Okay, let's take a quick break now and be back in ten minutes sharp. I really mean that. We have a lot of back-loading to do from the parking lot.